Failure

“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
Denis Waitley
If at first you don't succeed, try twice more so your failure is statistically significant.
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A power failure.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.

My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”

A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. -- Fred Allen