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Did

Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B?
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.