Delivery Jokes

What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
MedEx
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
I have been trying to write a new pizza jokeโ€ฆ
But I canโ€™t work out the delivery.
Whatโ€™s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
โ€œYou donโ€™t pepper-own me.โ€

โ€ฆand what did the delivery guy say in reply?
โ€œHey now, donโ€™t get saucy.โ€
How to Get Your Packages Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch over at Daveโ€™s house when the conversation turns to postal delivery workers. Dave, disgruntled about the subject, says โ€œI order a lot of books to get delivered here daily, but I always get a slip saying that they missed me, even if Iโ€™m home to receive them. Iโ€™m getting sick of it.โ€ Mick, understanding his frustration, suggests โ€œMaybe you should fight back, complain about it or something.โ€ Dave confidently replies โ€œDonโ€™t you worry about that. Iโ€™ve got it sorted today. Iโ€™ve put a sign on the front saying that I trade books for paint thinner.โ€ Mick confusedly asks โ€œAnd how will that solve the problem?โ€ As though on cue, the doorbell rings and a man is heard calling out that heโ€™s with the local postal delivery service, followed by some choice swearing. Dave, nonplussed by the whole situation, wipes his mouth, stands up and says to Mick โ€œBecause I covered the front doorstep with super glue.โ€
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
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