Bringing Jokes

Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
“No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.” – @simoncholland
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
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