Jokes > Tags > Be


In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad.
I guess it will be 5050.
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.