Isabella Isabeauty for sure
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
One should always practice what they peach.
Hey, let me take you out on a first date in the snow - I promise I'm not a flaky person.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
Your infectious smile puts cholera to shame.
My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
Did you get lost on your run? Because heaven is a long way from here.
The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
You're like Newton's laws.
Not perfect, but good enough.
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
Sleigh, what?!
You remind me of my last biking accident. Because I am going head over heels for you.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Baby, you're a firework.
Could this be the trail that leads to your heart?
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
Once upon a Halloween night,
A coven of witches took flight;
They went to the UN;
Added an “F” to UN.,
From then on the world’s future was more bright.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
“What Yoga really is… Spending an entire hour trying not to fart.”— Anonymous
Are you sugar? Because I just had sweet dreams about you.
Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body?
Because they are well organized.
Can I get your number?
One call, that's all.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions?
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
Is it hot in this Bikram studio, or is it just you?
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
How does a suit put his child into bed?
He tux him in.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
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