Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
I can heartly wait to see you.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
I was blinded by your beauty...
I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
Honey, if you were a space station, you’d be called Deep Space Fine.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
Who wept when the weather was murky;
When the day turned out fine,
She ceased to repine,
That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
"As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy."
- Ralphie May
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
If I had $10 for every virus on my computer, I could buy a new computer.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
“‘Welcome to winter,’ one said. ‘When fifty percent of drivers should have their licenses temporarily suspended.'” — Kelley Armstrong
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
Is your name Summer? Because you are hot!
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Is there a magnet in here because I'm really attracted to You.
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
Your eyes look like dark black holes, buI can't help but to be drawn in.
Biology - The only science where multiplication and division are the same thing.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
You’re so beautiful you make me want to bloom.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
Go to BabaMail
