What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought
Wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought,
Had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn’t have thought I thought.
Is there a wormhole that will always take me directly to where you are?
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
A man was about to propose to his fiancé but as soon as he got down on his knees, she started laughing.
It was a fun knee moment.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
I wood never leaf you.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
Baby you could even make the Cold War hot!
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
Groucho Marx
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
As I only have two factors, I’m the prime candidate for you.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
Go to BabaMail
