Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Nice pumpkins!
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
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