I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I wanna bob for your apples.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
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