I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I wanna bob for your apples.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
There’s no trick in these pants.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Nice pumpkins!
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.