I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
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