With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated