People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I am a mean green machine.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
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