Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Nice pumpkins!
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
There’s no trick in these pants.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I am a mean green machine.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
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