A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”