Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
I am a mean green machine.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I wanna bob for your apples.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.