38 Funny Haiku Poems!

Haiku, to those who don't know, is a Japanese poem that must be made of 3 lines that have a total of exactly 17 syllables, with the first one being 5 syllables, the second 7, and the last 5 again (5-7-5). You wouldn't think you can make good jokes from something so small - But you'd be wrong! Enjoy these hilarious haiku!

Girl sat on a swing.
Trying to sing a song for god.
Missing him, not me.
Ask for opinions.
Mull it over. Then you can.
Just do what you want.
I met a man, Stan.
His nature is Afghani.
Yes! Afghanistan.
Advice for those in,
a difficult position.
First, be flexible.
In case of not being,
able to count up to seven,
you can use your fingers.
Fat man sees small door,
he knows he cannot fit through,
tears flow free now.
Is everything wrong?
Are you the only one right?
Time to see a shrink.
Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
Shoe laces.
Must attack at once.
Didn't know that was you.
World is vast and wide.
So much out there to explore.
Right now, let's eat lunch.
I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?
The ocean is big,
And also it is pretty,
Pretty freakin' wet.
I'm much funnier.
when I am drunk off my butt.
sadly, I'm sober.
Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that.
Help, me I am trapped
In a haiku factory
save me, before they
Lots of guilt to share.
What am I doing wrong now?
A Jewish mother.
A Haiku about getting out of bed:
No No No No No
No No No No No No No
No No No No No
Take me down to Hai-
ku City where the grass is
green, and the dammit.
Company coming?
And your house is a big mess?
Just put on lipstick.
You use computers.
IPods, mobiles, cameras.
Why not write letters?
I knew this gambler.
He bet it all on a bluff.
He is now homeless.
I like kittens, YEAH!
They are really fluffy, YEAH!
Five syllables here.
Seven more syllables here.
Are you happy now?
I see you driving
Round town with the girl I love
and I’m like Haiku.
Expand your mind. Get
To work. Better yet, put your
Feet up. Watch TV.
Wanna go outside.
Oh NO! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
I sat on the pin.
It did not give me a grin.
Buy some marmalade.
My breakfast today,
bacon, eggs, and ice water.
I feel so healthy.
Haikus confuse me
Too often they make no sense
hand me the pliers.
As the birds fly south
I make reservations to
Go to Florida.
You think you're big.
With your fancy little words.
This is not so hard.
Row row row your boat.
Rowing gently down the stream.
Life is so extreme.
My cow gives less milk,
now that it has been eaten,
by a fierce dragon.
My bunny is fat
He loves to eat cabbage
No wonder he’s fat.
Only so many
And so much to get done.
I’d rather take nap.
How many light bulbs
Does it take to screw a shrink?
Oh, got it backwards.
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