Tommy Cooper was a British comedian and magician, and well known for both. His stage presence often seemed chaotic and bumbling, but his shows were always perfectly choreographed to give that impression. In fact, he had an unbelievable sense of timing, for both tricks and jokes.
In a 2005 poll The Comedians' Comedian, Cooper was voted the sixth greatest comedy act ever by fellow comedians and comedy insiders. He is commonly cited as one of the best comedians of all time, with several polls placing him at number one.
Cooper performed literally to the end of his life, dying on stage in front of millions of viewers, while he was, still, performing at the age of 63, doing what he loved to do - making people laugh.
|
When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. If he grabs the wrench, he’ll be a mechanic, and if he takes the hammer, he’ll be a carpenter.’ I grabbed the nurse!
The town was so dull, one day the tide went out and it never came back.
Every day she takes the car out, she comes back with the same question: ‘Guess who I ran into.’
A piano-tuner was called to a nightclub to tune the piano. He was at it for five hours, but the bill only came to £3. The manager said: ‘Is that all? How come you worked for five hours to tune the piano and you only charge £3?’ He said: ‘What?’
A dog bit a chunk out of my leg the other day. A friend of mine said: ‘Did you put anything on it?’ I said: ‘No, he liked it as it was.’
My wife is really into Do-It-Yourself. Every time I ask her to fix something, she says: ‘Oh, do it yourself!’
My wife does her own decorating, but she overdoes it. The other day I opened the fridge and there was a lampshade on the lightbulb.
I swam the English Channel once.
‘But a lot of people have swum the Channel.’
Lengthwise?
She’s always smiling. She’s the only girl I know whose teeth are sunburnt.
A leopard went to see a psychiatrist. He said: ‘Every time I look at my wife, I see spots before my eyes.’ The psychiatrist said: ‘That’s only natural.’ The leopard said: ‘But, doctor, she’s a zebra.’
A drunk was brought into a police station. He pounded his fist on the counter and said: ‘I want to know why I’ve been arrested.’ The sergeant said: ‘You have been brought in for drinking.’ He said: ‘Oh, that’s all right, then. Let’s get started!’
I always sit in the back of a plane. It’s much safer. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain!
|
Image courtesy of: Wikipedia
Submitted by: Sven L.
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Cheeky Joke: Meeting the Parents
A biker just found himself the perfect Harley with a tube of Vaseline thrown in to protect it from the rain.Things start to go awry at his girlfriend's house...
These Jokes Are So Dumb They'll Make You Laugh!
Some jokes are so dumb that they are actually hilarious and make you laugh out loud. Below is a selection of such jokes!
Hilarious Stand Up: Why Teens Are God's Revenge
A hilarious stand up by comedian veteran Jeff Allen, all about teens and why they are God's revenge.
Sometimes Lame Jokes Are Actually Quite Hilarious...
Sometimes what seems like a bad joke can actually be pretty hilarious in the right context, and here are 95 of such lame jokes.
This "Senior Prayer" Made Me Laugh My Butt Off!
A hilarious form of prayer by a senior who knows what she's talking about...
You're Never Too Old To Have Fun! These Seniors Prove It
There may be some seniors who'd rather take life slowly. But others, do not want to waste a second having fun.
Keep Your Lips and Hugs to Yourself Human! Hilarious
A lot of dog and cat owners love to kiss their pets. But often the pet doesn't understand this strange custom. This hilarious compilation shows their reactions!
HILARIOUS: What Would You Do If You Saw This Happening?
What would you do if you saw a scene like this? It's hilarious to see how the people in this video react to what they see going on in front of them!
Meanwhile in Australia, Some Weird Things are Happening...
Australia is a fascinating and weird place.
Weirdly Interesting Family Photoshoots - 14 Funny Pics
These family photos are embarrassing but hilarious.
No Matter My Age, a Funny Cartoon is a Funny Cartoon
These cartoons will make you laugh at any age.
My All-Time Favorite Broken-English Signs
English may be well-known but it's not always well-written. Here are some hilarious signs
You Must See These Hilarious Airport Pick-Up Signs
Some people go a little overboard with their airport greetings.
Nostalgic Comedy: Did Bert Forget Their Anniversary?
In this episode Molly thinks Bert forgot their anniversary.
These 'Genius' Repairs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud!
These photos prove that being an amateur engineer for a day may not work out as well as you'd like!
This Magician Pulls Off the Most Insane Tricks
Forget about pulling rabbits out of hats, this magician pulls off the most insane tricks.
Hilarious: Ready for Some Christmas Cartoons?
Here we've collected for you a series of funny Christmas cartoons for you to enjoy and to share with your family and friends!
Here Are Some Funny New Year's Quotes to Make You Laugh
We want you to welcome 2023 with laughter. So, here are some hilarious News Year quotes for you.
Read Pensioner's Priceless Response After Rejected by Army
A pensioner tries to join the army but gets rejected. He believes that pensioners make better soldiers than 18-year-olds, and his reasons will crack you up!
The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
Birds can be mean at times, but hilarious at the same time. Check out some of the funniest bird antics in this post.
Hilarious: What Would Our Pets Write In Their Diary?
We all know there are major differences between dogs and cats, but it was only after we found their secret diaries that we really understood how deep a difference it is...
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
Hilarious! These Kids REALLY Hate Shopping!
While loads of teenagers and adults simply love to shop till they drop, the same can't really be said for most kids, as these hilarious photos prove!
18 Funny Construction Bloopers That are Too Hard to Ignore
Take a look at some truly absurd and outrageous construction fails that will make you laugh out loud.
Innovation or Insanity? 15 Bizarre Concepts
People leave you wondering where on Earth they got a certain idea that they had. These 16 photos really need to be seen to be believed.
When This Young Comedian Steps on Stage, No One is Safe!
Ned Woodman, a 9-year-old comedian, may look cute, but when he steps on to the stage, all this changes. Check him out here!
These Adorable Yet Funny Snapchats of Dogs Are a Must-See!
These snapchats of dogs are both funny and cute.
The Most Hilarious Way of Learning to Play an Instrument!
Part comedy, part musical lesson, you'll laugh yourself silly with this video.
This 'Man Song' is a Complete Hoot!
Watch the legendary Milton singing 'The Man Song' by Sean Morey in this hilarious video.
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
If I Can’t Hug Them, Then Why Are These Animals SO CUTE?
These are the last animals you’d think of as ‘cute,’ yet here they are, looking as silly and precious as our beloved pets.
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
Hilarious: 16 Times People Didn't Pay Attention...
If you ever doubted the fact that knowing English is important, these hilarious mistakes made on public signs will definitely change your mind once and for all!
George Carlin Had a Funny Way of Telling the Truth!
Mr George Carlin's legacy will be fondly remembered for many years. There are not many people who can entertain, amuse, and delight by asking a simple question.
Hilarious! Buying a Bed Takes Some Thought...(RUDE)
When an attractive customer needs convincing about a certain bed, the salesman can't believe his luck!
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
The Wit and Humor of Groucho Marx – Funny Compilation
Sit back and enjoy this hilarious compilation of the funniest Groucho Marx insults and one-liners.
These Funny Signs Made Me Holler!
Feeling sad or bored? After reading these 12 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have those two problems on your hands.
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.
These Comics Prove a Single Panel Can Deliver Big Laughs
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-panel comics by Adam Douglas Thompson.
I Swear Officer, I Was Framed!
These people thought they were helping film a prank, but they didn't realize what will happen next...