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"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"

Like all of God's creatures, sometimes a dog has some questions he'd like to get answered, and if we could understand their nightly prayers, maybe they would sound something like this...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same, only in reverse?  
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?  
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, when we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story? 
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?  
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, if a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?  
 
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, we dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?  
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, more meatballs, less spaghetti, please.  
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
Dear God, are there any mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? 
"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"

Dear God, Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up. 

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. 

"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"

P.S. Dear God, when I get to Heaven, will I still be neutered? 

"I'm Just a Pup... But Can I Ask You Something?"
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