Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.