What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.