What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.