Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.