I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.