Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.