What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal