Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.