Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.