What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.