Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.