Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.