What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.