What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr