Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.