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Wooden Jokes

Utensils Puns
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Parrot Puns
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Leg Puns
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Table Puns
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Food Quotes
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
Hockey Puns
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
One Liners for Kids
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
Furniture Puns
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
Tree Puns
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Anti Jokes
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
Hard Drive Puns
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Toilet Puns
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.