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Very Jokes

Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
Garden Puns
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
I’m very frond of you.
Utensils Puns
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Gnome Puns
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Baby, I'm like efavirenz. I can decrease your odds of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me — a very common side effect.
Friendship Quotes
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.“
— Oscar Wilde
Nuts Puns
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Tableware Puns
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
Space Pick Up Lines
I think I might become an astronomer because I’m very fascinated with Uranus