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Can You Say Daddy?
Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "No. Say daddy." Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "Crap! Say daddy!" Baby: "Crap!" Dad: "What did you say?" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "I'm home!" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "What? Where did you hear that?" Baby: "Daddy."
Corona Virus Jokes
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Classic Pick Up Lines
You know, your smile has been lighting up the room all night, and I just had to come and say hello.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
They say this stuff makes clothes really soft. Want to come over and have a feel?
Food Quotes
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
Funny Aging Quotes
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
Movie Pick Up Lines
They say Disney World is the happiest place on earth, obviously, they haven't been in your arms.
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
- Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
Christian Pick Up Lines
Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
Literary Pick Up Lines
I could say that I wandered lonely as a cloud before I met you, but what are these Wordsworth if you won't go out with me?
I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I'm just going to say it: I'm Wilde about you.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
I like you about 1/18 as much as I like a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is to say “I love you forever, let’s get married.”