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Rush Jokes

Computer Puns
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.

Chrome wasn't built in a day.
Quotes
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
Robin Williams
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams
British Pick Up Lines
You're hotter than the London Underground during rush hour.
Medical Puns
Why did the wizard rush to the hospital?
He had a staff infection.
Baseball Puns
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Chocolate Pick Up Lines
I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand.
Funny Work Quotes
“Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous
Mexican Pick Up Lines
You're hotter than the London Underground during rush hour.
Football Puns
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Halloween Puns
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
Train Puns
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
Dragon Jokes
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."