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Playing Jokes

Nuts Puns
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Pig Puns
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Funny Aging Quotes
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Halloween Pick Up Lines
You're such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”

- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.
Yard Puns
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
Deer Puns
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Tableware Puns
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
Funny Work Quotes
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
Mushroom Puns
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Utensils Puns
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Mall Pick Up Lines
Did you hear that? They're playing our future song on the speakers!