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Months Jokes

Blonde Jokes
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
Funny Money Quotes
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
Sibling Puns
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
Sun Pick Up Lines
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
Blond Jokes
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Mole Puns
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Birthday Jokes
I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!
Otter Puns
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
Ear Puns
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Spouse Puns
My fiance is kidding... She's due in 7 months!
Funny Parenting Quotes
“My daughters only six months old and already drawing. I’d hang it on the fridge, but honestly, its absolute garbage.” – Ryan Reynolds
Garden Quotes
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
One Liners and Short Jokes
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."