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Having Jokes

Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Okay, here’s the deal: I’ll let you take the last stuffed crust frozen pizza if you let me take you to dinner. At your house. Where we’ll be having frozen pizza.
Food Quotes
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
Funny Work Quotes
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
Garden Quotes
"Real gardeners buy at least ten thousand plants in the course of a lifetime without having the least idea where they'll put any of them when they get home."
— Anonymous
Onion Puns
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Funny Money Quotes
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
Meat Puns
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Friendship Quotes
“Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I’m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Let’s face it. You are bad luck.”
— Unknown
Pea Puns
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Tableware Puns
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.

I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.