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Early Jokes

Onion Puns
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.”

- Jim Gaffigan.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
Funny Work Quotes
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
Garden Quotes
“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!”
— Anonymous
"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe
History Puns
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
Sun Pick Up Lines
Do you know why you need to get up early? Because you’re the sunshine.
Beaver Puns
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Peach Puns
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Funny Aging Quotes
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
Funny Money Quotes
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.