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Cutting Jokes

Onion Puns
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Hair Puns
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Tree Puns
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Zombie Puns
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Arm Puns
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
Puns
Today I learned that the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
Apology Pick Up Lines
Sorry for cutting you in line, I was hoping you believe in love at first sight.
Utensils Puns
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Beaver Puns
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
Peach Puns
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Orange Puns
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.