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Beans Jokes

Appliance Puns
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Pea Puns
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
You're rice and I am the beans. Together, we are a combo plate of bueno.
You're rice and I’m the beans. Together, we’re a combo plate of bueno.
The Trucker and the Waitress
A trucker came into a truck stop coffee shop and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon." "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?" She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
Vegetable Puns
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Kitchen Puns
Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?
Any more and it would be two farty...
Coffee Puns
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Food Quotes
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
Easter Pick Up Lines
I’ve been looking for you, and I hope you’re as sweet as jelly beans.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
Tableware Puns
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
Unicorn Puns
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.