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Battery Jokes

Phone Puns
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
One Liners and Short Jokes
Just found two lumps on my car battery.
Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it's not terminal.
Utensils Puns
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Salt Puns
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
Water Puns
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Geology Puns
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Lamp Puns
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Volleyball Puns
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck
Prison Puns
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What's an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.
Rabbit Puns
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Bat Puns
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.