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Dog Puns
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
How to Answer Politely
My wife has a tendency to go off on random tangents sometimes. In her atypical fashion, she decided that we both needed to get fit, so off we went on a backpacking holiday. After eight days on a series of trails in the wilderness, my wife and I both started to look a little rough around the edges. One morning, she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder-length hair sticking out at odd angles. "Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a cow?" I thought for a moment, then said: "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
Baseball Pick Up Lines
Babe, there's a few tough road series coming up, but if we can make it through them, I'll know it's real.
Baseball Puns
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Math Pick Up Lines
Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions?
One Liners and Short Jokes
Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘once upon a time’?
No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise...’
Strawberry Puns
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
Electricity Puns
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Ancient Rome Puns
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Beaver Puns
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
The Wrong Person to Ring...
A marketing person finally managed to corner me at the mall and was asking a series of survey questions. Here is how you make sure you don't get bothered twice: "Hi can I just ask - Which shaving cream do you use?" "Jem's." The interviewer dutifully recorded my answer and proceeded with the next question. "Which aftershave do you use?" "Jem's." "Which deodorant do you use?" "Jem's." "Which toothpaste do you use?" "Jem's." "Which shampoo do you use?" "Jem's." "Which soap do you use?" "Jem's." "Thank you. I have one final question: tell me please, What is Jem's? Is it a foreign company?" "Nah, Jem's my sister."
Brain Puns
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Peach Puns
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Pig Puns
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Flight Puns
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
A Series of Coincidences
A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What a coincidence," said the farmer, who added, " It is a special day for me. I am celebrating." "It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!" said the woman. "What a coincidence!" said the farmer. While they toasted, the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant." "What a coincidence," said the man. "I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs." "This is incredible," said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?" "I used a different rooster," he said. "What a coincidence." Smiled the woman.