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fhca allen Jokes

fhca allen Jokes and more.
Potato Puns
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Funny Work Quotes
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
Quotes
Woddy Allen
Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
It's not that I don't want to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir, two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.”
Woody Allen
Funny Poems
I don’t have a controller,
And I don’t have a screen,
I don’t need to be plugged in,
I’m not grey and green.
I can’t make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can’t put me on a shelf,
Because I’m not made of plastic.
However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can’t insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.
(Sarah Allen)
Funny Marriage Quotes
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” - Tim Allen
Christian Quotes
Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. -- Fred Allen
Funny Aging Quotes
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
Funny Love Poems
I don’t have a controller,
And I don’t have a screen,
I don’t need to be plugged in,
I’m not grey and green.

I can’t make sound effects,
Or visuals that are fantastic,
You can’t put me on a shelf,
Because I’m not made of plastic.

However, I do have curves,
Will keep you entertained all the same,
You can’t insert a disc,
But we can make our own little game.

(Sarah Allen)
Funny Family Quotes
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”

- Gracie Allen
Tax Quotes
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
Funny Love Quotes
"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." Tim Allen
Funny Health Quotes
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
Funny Money Quotes
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen