cannibal Jokes

These innocent-looking questions are actually cleverly crafted: Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, which side would it fall on? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? What's another word for thesaurus? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Two cannibal friends were sitting together for lunch, sipping their tea. Then one asked the other: "Hey, I heard you and your boyfriend had a big fight last night?" "Yes, that's right." "So how are things between you right now?" "Well... right now..." The cannibal stopped to take a sip of her tea. "Right now I'm letting him stew..."

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One day, just as they were finally about to give up, they crawled into a clearing and there right in front of them stood a Cannibal's restaurant. Out front near the entrance was a large menu board. With the little energy they had left, they dragged themselves across the clearing and looked up to see the following menu: They struggled into the establishment, dragged themselves to a table, and a waiter came to take their order. Before they ordered, one of the explorers asked the waiter, "Can you help me understand your menu? The first two items are priced about the same, but the third item, the politician, is priced so much higher. Why is that?" "Are you kidding?" replied the waiter. "Did you ever try to CLEAN one of those suckers?"

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "OOh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat woman. The son said, "Hey dad, she's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

A large corporation hires a Tribe of ex-cannibals. As they accept them they tell them: "You have full rights as employees, but you're not allowed to eat anybody!" Things go well for several weeks and then the CEO calls the Tribe into his office and says: "One of the employees has been missing for several days now. This is awkward to ask, but... did you EAT them?" The chief of the Tribe checks with his people and says: "No sir, we have not eaten anybody. We have left that all behind us." The CEO remains unconvinced, but without evidence there is nothing he can do. He apologizes for the suspicion and sends them back to work. Once they are away from the other employees, the chief turns to his people and asks: "Okay, which one of you idiots did it?" A tribesman sheepishly puts up his hand and admits: "I ate the cleaning lady." Enraged, the chief slaps the man and yells: "You fool! We've been eating department heads, marketing executives and efficiency consultants for weeks and nobody noticed. Then you had to go and eat someone they'll miss!"