I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!