What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.