How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.