What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.