What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.