What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
All stereos are so typical.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss