What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
All stereos are so typical.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.