A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.