What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.