What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
All stereos are so typical.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music