I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.