A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"