What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
All stereos are so typical.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!