What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
I slapped my violin out of anger, then I got arrested for domestic violins.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.