What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
“You’re too high strung, don’t fret.”
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
Why didn’t Handel go shopping?
Because he was Baroque.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.