Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement