Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!