What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
All stereos are so typical.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
The fisherman was playing his out-of-tune guitar.
Luckily he caught a Tuna
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Which element is a member of famous rock band?
Hg
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I told the person who was playing my trumpet,
To stop pushing my buttons.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."