Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"