Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.