What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!