In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore, but he did have a hand in it.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!