What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.