What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!