The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.